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An Elorii's meditation
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Author:  Sparhawk42 [ Thu Jun 22, 2017 2:18 pm ]
Post subject:  An Elorii's meditation

I could have reached out and touched her. I was so close that I could have touched her! All of the doubts, the trepidation, all of it washed away. In one perfect moment. So many myths, so many legends, so many half-truths and twisted words washed away. Not that enlightenment is complete be any means. I barely know myself, let alone my people. And the humans! And dwarves! And all the rest! At least I begin to understand why we watch.

I have lost so many. Friends. Enemies. Loved ones of old. All gone now except for my memories. And what memories! I remember the greatness of what we once were. I remember… I wish I could remember more but even now the memories fragment. They shift like sands on a tide. Now all gone except for a priceless few.

And now my responsibility. Responsibility. That was not a word I expected to ever have to deal with. I’m a Berokene. I’m not a people person. I snark. I snipe. I laugh at the folly of humanity and the differences that they allow to bring them low instead of being lifted to glory by them. And now I am responsible. For my people. For their safety. For their wellbeing. Me. A General. I can barely understand the meaning, even now, days after.

Even now the weight seems too much. But every time I falter, I remember. She is with me. With us. All of us. And that moment sustains me through even the darkest of moments.

-Beroelares of Entaris

Author:  Heidi val'Tensen [ Fri Jun 30, 2017 4:09 am ]
Post subject:  Re: An Elorii's meditation

I was proud to fight under your command - to fight to defend the innocent, be they Elorii or Human.

When you spoke to rally the troops - not just your own Elorii forces, but also the coalition of other races that had rallied to you banner, I sensed that you were not in your element... that leading men and women into battle strained you so. I wanted to help you... I should have offered that help... but I did not, because I feared it was not my place... that offering camaraderie and pretty words might have insulted you and your noble people. In retrospect, that I did not offer those things shames me and is one of my few true regrets of my existence.

I wanted to say to all present that you did not stand alone - that your people did not stand alone. I wanted to remind my own people that we owe yours a great debt we have never repaid... that we can never repay - a debt stemming from an ancient act so terrible that even Illiir wept and turned his face from what he had ordered - knowing it to be wrong even as he spoke the words. I wanted to stand up and remind all those humans present that it is our duty to stand against such a tide of evil as threatened Seremas, and beyond that... I wanted to say that we have a divine mandate to repay the sins of our Lords - both to honor your people's loss and to remember that Illiir wept for that loss... I wanted to remind my people that in spite of all we had done to them, noble Elorii heroes helped us save humanity when the mad Valinor Manetas threatened to bring our people low... that it was our turn then to prove that we can be better, to prove that we can start working to deserve that forgiveness of past sins that we have so often asked for but so seldom tried to earn... I wanted to stand by your side and say all these things so that your people - hurt so greatly in so few months - would know that the other free peoples of Onara stood with them then in solidarity against the forces of evil arrayed before us... that there is yet hope for the Life Warden Meliros' dream of healing the rift between our peoples.

I wanted to say a lot of things.

That I didn't... I expect I shall remember that failing for many centuries to come - but should I ever have the chance again in the future, I shall hope to correct that failing.

For now, I hope that you can forgive me for letting you stand alone while I held my tongue... that you can forgive me for offering my blade to your banner but nothing more even when I saw the need. For now, all I can offer are these pretty words - worthless though they may be... and my blade. You shall always have my blade, General, so long as I still have an arm to wield it and you have nobility in your heart. I swear it by all my people's Gods.

- Ser Adelheidis Sigrid val'Tensen of Moratavia, Defender of Seremas in the battles of 1029ic and 1075ic both

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