The paddy wagon lumbered down the cobble stone street. “Tukufu! Tukufu, you old scholar where are you?” came the shout at 2:00 AM. From the vapors it was clear that Acturis has been drinking, while the stake on his eye suggests he was thrown out of the bar. “Shut your arse whoever you are and go home,” cries the wash lady from the gutter.”
“Don’t you know who I am?” The undir retorts. “I’ll throw you in the brig next time.” He continues pointing down to the iron bars of the portable jailhouse beside him. Acturis then climbs up to the top of the carriage and begins to sing as only a drunkard possibly can.
Oh my name is Acturis, I’m a sorrowful man, ‘cause in hunting the gnome I did fail. Please forgive me my friend, and come drinking with me A humbled man you don’t meet every day.
I’m a roving old man, a hunter by trade, And many a bounty I’ve lost Please forgive me my friend, and come drinking with me, A humbled man you don’t meet every day . A carriage I have, and a mancatcher staff, And many’s the crowns that I store. Please forgive me my friend, and come drinking with me, A humbled man you don’t meet every day.
I go out with my dog, and a crossbow to shoot, all along the Azure Way. Please forgive me my friend, and come drinking with me, A humbled man you don’t meet every day.
Come I’ll fill up your glass, with brandy and wine, Whatever the cost I will pay. Please forgive me my friend, and come drinking with me, A humbled man you don’t meet every day.
And it is often I’ve sat, with a bottle alone, Near all men would wish for more. Please forgive me my friend, and come drinking with me A humbled man you don’t meet every day.
Oh my name is Acturis, I’m a sorrowful man, ‘cause in hunting the gnome I did fail. Please forgive me my friend, and come drinking with me, A humbled man you don’t meet every day
_________________ --- Eric Hughes
There once was a gnome called Oozy, Who kissed a Yaricite floozy. But rather than wed, She drowned him instead, Now he is a Yaricite toosey!
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