Me found secret info. Me hate secrets. So, me tell.

Governorness nefew Ubo val Sheem. Many know this. Governorness nefew in trouble. Many know this. Many not know trouble is cartel. Harliquine no give "gift". Want payment ASAP. Nefew want aunt pay up. Guards try to find nefew. Hunt him down. Bounty on nefew. Hunters hunt down. Me save nefew. Nefew know back alleys. Nefew may know sewers.

Nefew have gift? Harliquin have gift? Cartel = Harvesters? Me not know. But me suspicious. Saw casting. Think fight coming. Cartel gona fight guards? Me not know. But me suspicious.

Smart man could tell you. But he lost in crowd. No show secret meeting. But me crash secret meeting. So me take smartman's job. Will bill later.

- Ooze Jumper the Wise

To whom it may concern,

Yes, I'm afraid I did slip away when I noticed, should I say smelled, Ooze Jumper. I have become skittish since the first time I had the dubious pleasure of meeting him. Hearing threats that your house might burn down will do that.

My apologies to other people in the area. In a more perfect world I would have loved to make your acquaintance. I hope my absence didn't not cause anyone an inconvenience.

Ooze Jumper. I also dislike secrets. How odd that we share something so fundamental in common. Against my better judgement I look forward to hearing more of your report. You can present your bill to my money manager Arcturus. I'm sure both will promise to be ... interesting.

Yours in Haste,

Tukufu, Ambassador of Altheria