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What makes a PC officially a member of a secret society? E.g., what do you as a player need to do to officially join?
You say "I'm a member of this Secret Society." and that's about it.
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What if a PC finds that the requests of his/her secret society don't match up with their sensibilities? E.g., the society asks the PC to do things that he/she finds reprehensible. What are the consequences if the PC doesn't do as they ask?
Some adventure may give you -1 Fame with your Secret Society. Some adventures, it might not matter. You can of course attribute your own consequences (leave your society). You might also not be able to take special Paths related to your society if your Fame is beneath the requirement.
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How does a PC leave a secret society? What are the consequences?
I would say it depends on the Society. Some characters can't leave (Laerestri maybe?) while others are probably fine to go "I've left the Society" (Feathermen).
Anyone can be in a Secret Society; the "paths" exist to show that you're more tightly integrated into the society.
John